Said the mouse to the mongoose:
Holy shit. I don’t believe it. I mean, you almost had me. 100 percent. To be a mouse, you say. To be a mouse, I’m supposed to be him? He wears giant yellow shoes and white gloves. He’s friends with a duck. He sounds like an old excited woman.
But I believed you.
I bought some shorts and some dye. I planned surgery. Imagine that? Ear enlargement. I looked for polka dots and puppies. I practiced my laugh. I went to rotary club and recited rotary oaths. Happiest place on earth?
I tried. I thought I was shit—a real nut job for not pulling it off. Just completely crazy, you know. Exactly what you wanted.
Said the mongoose to the mouse:
You left hair in the sink. Again.